OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my shit smells like andre
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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