you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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