$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
