Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
