Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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