So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
