VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
