So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
