i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
