your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
