it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
