I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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