Whatcha textin bout Willis?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
