no you cant smoke seaweed
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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