she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
