i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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