who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
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