I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
