I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
