Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
