Porn is love you can see.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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