Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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