I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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