if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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