I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
