Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
