You're so nebulous sometimes
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
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