when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
