I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
