Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i will never coherently bang her
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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