ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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