she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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