Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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