yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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