dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
