the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
