I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
