My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
