It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
