would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
