butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
