also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
