Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Success! We fucked roommates!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
