yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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