She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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