if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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