Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
