they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
