She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
