drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
