i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
